RIGHT NOW! - with Timothy Crawford

NY Post Degrades Obama with Chimp Pic

 

I'm having a real hard time NOT seeing this picture as offensive.  I know the NYPD shot a crazed Chimpanzee yesterday, but what does that have to do with the stimulus bill or President Obama?

Is the NY Post comparing President Obama to a monkey, or am I seeing things?   

Help me out America. Is there really any other way to call this one? 

This type of Humor isn't Humorous

Where I come from, this type of humor is fighting words.  What are these guys trying to do, start a friggin riot?  If this isn't a racist drawing, at the very least it's in very bad taste. 

Somebody Should Lose a Job Over This

If cartoonist Sean Delonas created this little do-dad to get attention, welp, he succeeded.  Along with some attention, Delonas might also get pushed down a flight of stairs on his way home tonight, not that I would support that type of thing happening to such an obvious racist, I'm just saying.

Octuplet Mom Out of the Baby Making Business

I haven't blogged in a week, but don't worry people, fore I return to the blogosphere in the nick of time with some much smash-mouthed typeface straight from the fingers of realness. 

Hold onto your ovaries lady's, here's my take on that fruitcake mom with the 14 kids. 

It's slam time.

In an NBC "Dateline" interview aired Tuesday night, 33-year-old Nadya Suleman said the octuplets were a sign from God that she should stop having children."

A sign from God?  

Ha!

 

A rainbow is a sign from God.  A butterfly is a sign from God.  Being a single-mom with 14 kids is a sign from the nut-quarium that somebody is walking around without the aid of common sense.

Nadya Suleman is way pass crazy.  Words haven't  been invented to accurately describe your type of crazy so I'm forced to combine fictional nutcase movie characters to best capture your lunacy.

Nadya Suleman, you're a mix of Brad Pitt in the 12 Monkeys, Marlon Brando in the Island of Dr. Moreau and Kathy Bates in Misery.  

That aint all sister. 

My money says before too long "The People" will come and take all your kids away, toss your loopy tail in an Asylum and you're kids will be all the better because of it.    

I'm serious, how can you possibly defend being stupid enough to actually think you can support, raise and prepare 14 people for a productive life with all the necessities?  Nowadays, parents are having a hard time providing for the standard 2 or 3 kids without working nights as a stripper or something and you somehow think you can knock out food, diapers and clothing for 14 kids all on your own?  14 kids?  America needs to lock away and burn your HMO card.  For God's sake, 14 kids is like three Jackson Fives and I don't see no Joe Jackson in your life. 

Quick, someone shove Nadya "The Baby Machine" Suleman in a car with Chris Brown.  Someone needs to be slapped back into reality already!  Hey Chris, I know you can do it.  Take Her Down!

Blagojevich Loses Governorship, Self Respect, Bearings and Academy Award Nomination

Get a load of Rod Blagojevich

making an ass of himself as he denies doing what's he so obviously did. What a mouth on this guy.  Does he actually believe anyone on earth with an IQ above 17, actually believes this manure he's a-spewing?

I'd have more respect for Blago if he had the heart to throw some other politician's under the bus along with him.   Blagojevich should've told the nasty truth: Politics is a dirty business and though what he did was dead wrong, this is how it's done.  If a politician wants something he pays for it, either by supporting the other guys legislation or by way of campaign contributions. 

 

Heck, if Blago would've been honest it's possible many everyday American's may have rallied behind him making it harder for so many flaming hypocrites to pretend they never heard of "Pay to Play". 

 

I don't feel sorry for the former Governor, I'm simply saying, if you have to go out, which he most definitely did, don't go out looking for sympathy, go out making some furniture move around. 

 

Bye Blago, see you in criminal court.

 

Here's the video:

 

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

On Blast: Camera Phone Predator Alert Act

 

Today's 'Pointless Politician of the Moment Award".

  

The Politician:

Republican Peter King

The Pointless Bill:

"The Camera Phone Predator Alert Act"

The Pointlessness of it all:  

Peter thinks he can protect you from strangers snapping your picture without your knowledge by making a law that states:

"...camera-phones must make a sound "audible within a reasonable radius of the phone whenever a photograph is taken with the camera in such phone." 

Why this idea is a big fat waste of time:

 

Not even Batman can protect you from having your picture taken against your will.  In America, there's some risk you have to live with.  If you don't want anyone to see that dry brittle dead skin on your heels you can,

 1: wear socks,

2: hit up Ms. Sue's for a much needed pedicure. 

This bill also doesn't protect you from someone standing a distance further than the little clicky sound can travel, which is probably where most losers would stand to snap undercover pictures.

Tim's Take:

America's in the middle of a recession and this guy isn't introducing legislation for Employment Initiatives,  Foreclosure Protections or Small Business Incentives, no this guy wants to make sure your iPhone goes *click. 

Camera-Phones Mr. King?  Boy, you've sure got your finger on the pulse of the people!  Don't let anyone tell you, you're out of touch. 

Source: Open Congress http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h414/show

Kanye Mess

In case you missed it, Kanye's smoking crack again.  Here's what God's gift to sampling said that pissed me off this week;

"I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice..."

See, this is exactly the type of statement some fool makes just before something bad happens . Has 2Pac taught us nothing? 

Look Ye, I'm sorry your pants are too tight.  I'm sorry India Arie stole that Soul Train award from you in 05, and I'm sorry you're a 31 year-old man who throws temper tantrums like a six year-old when he doesn't get his way.  Grow up already!

Jesus walks was cool.  I liked your production work for JayZ and when you said "George Bush doesn't like black people", well, well that was just classic, but Kanye that was before, this is now. 

Now you're making weird experimental music about your inner-most feelings that only gays enjoy.  I just heard you singing on a record?  You sounded horrible.  Listen, you need to stop fighting with the paparazzi, kill all the "I'm the voice of a generation" garbage and get back to making your chipmunk sound effects and looping other peoples music together and calling it art.  As far as the whole "voice of a generation thing goes", do you realize  Dre has been on the scene 15 years longer than you, he's made 20X more music than you, the man has influenced 50X more artists than you and yet, he's only managed to say 1/1000th the cocky statements you have?

Hey bruh, I know losing a parent is hard, and no one can feel your pain, but honestly, I don't want to know your pain. There, I said it.  I don't really care.  I just want something with a nice beat that makes ladies dance.  You're paid to perform not complain.  What are you anyway, the Mark Cuban of Hip Hop? 

Keep it up and you won't have to worry about dealing with the success, the fans, the money or if a woman likes you for you or for your fame. Life can become a lot less complicated real fast when you're broke and trying to get back into the local community college.

Mark Cuban: Inside Man

Mark Cuban you're a jerk.   You cry way too much for a 50 year-old.   If it's not the officials, it's the sportswriters, if it's not the sportswriters it's the judges on "dancing with the stars", if it's not the judges on dancing with stars, your bawling your eyes out about Dirk Nowitzki not getting it done and how the Dallas Maverick's have no soul, which is true, but I'm tired of hearing about it.  Do you, Dallas and the whole world a favor: Do something about it.  Crying; isn't doing something about it.  Doing something about it is doing something about it.  Hey rich dumb ass,  you're a billionaire! What do you have to cry about?  Back when you were a broke bartender you had a right to complain.  When you became a billionaire you loss the right to whine.

Recently you've been giving everyone the awesome benefit of your free unsolicited business advice.  I especially like the part where you suggested President Elect Barack Obama needed to spend more time listening to entrepreneurs such as yourself, and less time listening to politicians.  I didn't have a problem with that until this week when I realized you were a scam artist and Federal Regulators were charging you with insider trading. All this to avoid a $750,000 loss?  

 

 

I would do just about anything for $750,000, but Mark you're a billionaire.  A billionaire would have a hard time missing $750k. $750,000 isn't enough for a billionaire to cry over, unless of course that billionaire is Mark "want some cheese to go that whine" Cuban.  Seriously, I don't think you're stupid enough to risk everythingover a measly million dollars, in fact, I have a feeling the SEC just doesn't like you very much.  They're probably screwing with you because you're an annoying rich guy and for once they wanted to give you something real to cry about, you know, just to make it interesting.   Who knows, you might get lucky and end up behind bars for a few months like Martha Stewart.  Just imagine, you'd finally have a bona-fide reason to whine?  Wow!  What an opportunity!  Cross your fingers Mark, you just might get that opportunity.  I for one am pulling for you.

 

 

 

Why I'll Never Be a Republican

 

<Mark Tapscott  of The Examiner> 

On my way into work this morning I picked up the DC Edition of "The Examiner". I usually pick up the Post Express, but there weren't any laying around so  I reluctantly sacrificed my loyalty to the Express and read the Examiner.  Okay, okay.  They're both free.  The Examiner was sitting on the seat and my choice was pick it up or sit on it.  I picked it up. 

Thumbing through the Examiner, I crash landed on their Op-Ed section.  Good, Blah, Interesting, Blah, Blah, Blah....and then I found an editorial that made me wince.  The Op-Ed was written by Mark Tapscott, entitled; "Isn't this where we came in 30 years ago?"

The title is terrible, but I gave it a read anyway.  Here's an excerpt from Mr. Tapscott's article:

"...Palin connects with real people as one of them because she is.  She has the rare gift of speaking with candor and grace in the common manner.  People who confuse Palin's appeal and virtues for a lack of experience or intelligence have no business running a political party"

....and that's why I'll never be a Republican. You lie, you lie and then you lie some more.  You lie to the point the people who know you're lying get confused and question what they know to be truth. 

Your lies might work on that small segment of the country, who for whatever reason, prefer leaders as uninformed as themselves.  Who needs those smartypants bastards throwing out words like Sunni and Shiite at the appropriate time and in the correct context?  And who wants some geek who can tell you the pros and cons of sending more troops to Afghanistan?  

Give me a break.  I'm not fooled Mr. Tapscott.   Palin's lack of preparation is not a plus, it's a big fat minus.  You and your editorial are full of the stuff that helps plants grow.  Stop defending stupidity.  There is no excuse on the planet that can justify a politician being unable to name a single book, newspaper or magazine that she reads. Palin's only excuse would be blindness and even then she'd better name some audio-books she has on her IPOD. 

I'm not only picking on Palin here.  Look, if Mrs. Palin were a Crane Operator or a Walmart Cashier I'd still expect her to be able to name a magazine, book or newspaper that she at least reads occasionally.  I have a term that I use for people who don't read; Losers.

I would stop there, but why?  You didn't.

Palin speaks with candor and grace?  Do you even know what the word grace means?  If you did, you'd know, Governor Palin's speaking abilities may be called many things, a grammatic train wreck, a discombobulated mess, and verbally falling down stairs - HARD, but Mark, with all due respect, grace ain't one of them.

Face it Tapscott, your darling Palin is either an idiot or a very good actress.  I would rather she were the latter, but sadly you and I know, she's the former. 

All the winking in the world won't change the fact Sarah i's a "D" student applying for an "A" student's job.  Do your party a favor, give Palin a radio show like Rush Limbaugh and call it a day, the GOP needs someone who can truly articulate an inspiring vision for the majority of Republicans' , only winding up the local yokels didn't get it done in 08, and I'll betcha two lip-sticked pigs, it won't get err done in 2012.   

Palin: A Dumb Choice on Day One

According to Fox News Chief Political Correspondent Carl Cameron, Sarah Palin was more than just a couple sandwiches short of a picnic, the woman didn't even know Africa was a continent. 

Game Over.  Palin is what I'd call "Super Stupid".  The woman possesses "Industrial Strength Ignorance", "Quantum Airheadedness" the hell with it, the woman is a Legendary Dumbbell. 

Can you believe GOP conservative talking heads are claiming Sarah Palin will be the new leader of the Republican Party? 

I kid you not.   Palin, leadership?  They might as well nominate a sofa.

On the other hand, what about McCain?  I say retire McCain.  The man betrayed the entire world choosing Palin as VP.  Sure, Mac gave a classy concession speech, but it's not enough to redeem himself.  I'm sorry.  Forget the hateful campaign.  Presidential campaigns have always gotten ugly.  We can forgive the name-calling, Ayers, Socialist tagging and the famously disrespectful "That one" comment, but McCain sold his soul to the Republican Base and then the man placed the nation in harms way by subjecting us to a possible Palin presidency. 

I will not forgive McCain's purely political motivated, piss poor Palin pick and there isn't a speech writer on earth that can lift that stain from his name.  McCain's going to need to cop one of those memory erasing wans they used in "Men in Black".

Yeah, you screwed up big time sir.  Hero or no hero, it's time to shut err down Captain. 

A Brief Note to Lazy Cynics Who Chose Not to Vote

Dear lazy cynical bastard,

Hi selfish.  I see you're continuing to be a lazy detached jerk.  Good stuff.  By the way, I voted this morning. Yep, I stood in line for two hours and it was worth it!  I know, you think I’m being naïve.  You don’t believe in voting.  Don’t worry.  I’m not writing to try and make you feel worse about yourself - if that's even possible.  I know, America’s a free country and there's no law that says you must be apart of the movement to fix your community, state or country.  Like the slogan says "Live and let Live" right?  I get it, just know the only reason you are able to sip your latte at that counter, sit in that first class seat or aim for that promotion is because some hopeful people believed in the possibility of change and they risked, loss and sacrificed their lives to do their part to make change happen.  It's fine and dandy if you choose not to appreciate or participate in Democracy.  I unlike you, but like many proud Americans, I put my shoulder against the bumper of Democracy and pushed that puppy forward a little this morning meanwhile you scoffed at people getting all excited about, as you put it, "just another politician".  Fair enough.  It’s obvious I can’t change how you feel.  Just do me one little favor: Promise to shut the hell up for the next 8 years.  That’s right!  No complaining about anything.  I don't care if a tornado hits and yours is the only home damaged,  the insurance company denies your claim and you can’t get health-care because the hospital classifies a 4x4 protruding from your buttocks as a pre-condition.  Not a word from you, understand?  Non-voters don’t get to complain.  If you don’t care enough to exercise your right to vote, I can choose to exercise my right not to care about your problems. 

Look at it this way, if you’re so wrapped up in your own shit that two wars, a recession, an energy crisis, corruption on Wall Street, pensions going south, piss poor government bureaucracy, lead toys, tainted meat, Pakistan, Putin, Kim Jong II, Darfur, Russian and a long list of other seriously screwed up, need to be corrected yesterday issues doesn’t motivate you to get in the game; then you’re not just a non-conformist living life on their own terms; you’re a crazy person who trusts things to fix themselves, and when you look at it that way, who really seems naïve, You or me?

 

Love,

Voting Americans

CNN Needs Tough Love on This One

 

Excuse me for not posting for a couple days.  I haven't forgotten where my bread is buttered, but lately I've been busy plotting how I can get the attention of a richer than hell corporate giant, grab it by its drooping jowls and smack it to its senses.  I've figured it out.

Alone, I can do very little. For maximum smack-up-ability, I'm going to need your help.

I know you're wondering what I'm talking about,

here's my point in 12 words:

"Very Bad News Related Shows That Make Black People Look Like Fools"

I'm referring to a news shows, CNN's, blaxploitation extravaganza, "DL Breaks The News".

 

I'm sincerely offended by the "Breaks the News" show, not so much because it's parodies of blacks are offensive - which is a matter of taste,  or because the shows timing is horrendous, when you stop and consider the wounds we're all attending to during such an emotionally draining presidential race.  No folks, I have a different bone to pick. 

 

What's got me hotter than an iPhone on Christmas is the sheer fact CNN decided that "Breaks the News" should, could and would be aired on a respectable news network such as CNN. 

Get my point?

 CNN is a network that we turn to for real news.  

Or at least we used to....

 

I have issues with a news network mocking black people for a cheap laugh.  If you'd like to mock my culture, race, religion, or use various stereotypes and prejudices, I don't like it America, but if you must, I'd appreciate it if you at least did so where it belongs; where I'd expect it,  like at at a comedy club, during fits of road rage or of course, at your typical McCain - Palin rally.

 

This whole business of CNN shaking up their already high-ratings by putting an offensively charged black minstrel-esque show on a news network channel demands a response from us; the people who gave them their high-ratings to begin with.

To do your part in letting the brain-trust at CNN/Time Warner what we think of their experimental comedy show, please visit: http://rightnow.typepad.com/ditchcnnsdlbreaksthenews/

Participate in taking back the media!